I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
please come you make the beer taste better
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
