he wants to bone in the snuggie
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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