Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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