my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
