Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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