there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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