you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
