K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
