I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
