He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
