As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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