Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
