jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
