if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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