Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just found puke in my bra..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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