Sponge bath it is.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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