And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
