Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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