My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Your cock deserves a montage
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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