By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
