Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
