I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
