I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
