FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
