Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
