I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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