Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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