all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
