and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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