Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
