get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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