If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
