She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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