I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
