so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
