It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
