you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
