did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
