At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
