she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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