you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
