So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
