you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
