Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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