i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
