Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
