What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
so much tequila, so little girl.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
