I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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