Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
