You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
