Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
