I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
