turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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